This Story contains substantial sexuality, transformation, and implied mind control. I would say that this is inspired by Anti-Oedipus but it’s more concurrent with a reading of it.
The fox was just sitting there, about ten feet away from the sidewalk that followed a road along a grassy stretch of about forty feet from road to tree cover. It looks at me and I look at it.
Even after moments pass, I continue to look at the fox and it continues to look at me. I think to myself If that fox started talking to me, what would I say? and please say it. “That’d be pretty weird” I said out loud, feeling an odd urge discharged.
The fox yawns and stands up before it starts walking away slowly, into the woods. I should follow the fox., I think to myself. I do so, I have at least a few hours before I need to get home anyway, and it’s not like there’s too much risk in there.
It’s just a park after all.
The fox seems to lead me, slowing down and looking back at me, as if to make sure that I was had caught up before continuing down the path further. It goes on and on and the deciduous growth that I had believed the forest to be constituted of had transitioned to pine stands up a hill. I sit on a rock, the fox returns after a few moments and sits closer to me. I stick my hand out, the fox looks at it quizzically, I should probably pull that back unless I want it bitten. I think to myself. I pull it back reluctantly, I wanted to pet the fox, but prudence had prevailed, I looked at the fox and grinned, careful to not show teeth. “Ah, you’d probably not like that. I’d need to do more work to prove myself first.”
Besides, there’re better places to be bitten. I think to myself. I swear that the fox looks at me amused, I try to put that bizarre intrusive thought behind me, I stand up and the fox continues onwards. So I follow, in spite of myself. I know it’s starting to get late, and something’s clearly up.
There’s better places, I think to myself, pumping my legs in spite of the ache that was quickly building up. Hopefully those better places is up ahead.
I whisper, “I should turn back soon.” to myself.
I think it’ll be just up ahead. I think to myself. The light is starting to wane and I need to start getting home, but if it’s just ahead, I can continue. Trees pass and pass and pass and the forest seems to change again, back to the sort of trees that I had any reasonable expectation of seeing here. And out there was a road, I think the one that I had left. The fox was trotting along to the sidewalk, which was beautifully empty in the now amber light. Back along my route home in fact.
I follow it up to the entrance and I let it in to the building, then to my apartment. I feel a sensation of terror that I had done this. I took stock of my own thoughts and I had not justified it.
I can take a minute and lie down anyway. It’s just a fox after all. I think to myself, slipping off my shoes and trudging into the bedroom.
I hear the clattering of its claws and still I feel relaxed here, in my bed, alone in my apartment with a wild animal. A cute one, but still a wild animal. I’ve probably met more unreasonable unpredictable humans than this fox. “Yeah, I mutter, but they’re people, this one has ticks and rabies and shit” Not this one. It’s so meek and mild, I’m sure it’ll not be the worst mess to clean up I think, a memory of a sewage backflow in a previous apartment seeping upwards inexorably until I’m nearly retching. It won’t be that bad, it physically can’t be.
I slip into a sleep in spite of myself, dreaming of forests and hills and holes in the dirt.
I awaken in a dark room, mine still. It’s been many hours, and the fox is sleeping next to me. Quite relaxed and unbothered by the fact that I was not familiar. I whisper “I wish I could be like you.”
There’s a moment where I think its stirring, but then it just flops over. I stay in bed, comfortable enough, and eventually when I open my eyes next the sun is out and the light is playing through the door and windows. The fox is looking at me, the eyes hold an energy in them that I cannot place, it is not anger, it is not even watchfulness. It is assurance.
Have you started to figure it out? I think to myself, “Figure what out?”
Where the thoughts are coming from? “My brain of course.” It starts to occur to me that I’ve been responding out loud in response to a certain texture of thought. Fuck me you’re dense
“Come on now, we all know that we don’t admit that we have distinction in here.”
I’m going to bite you I think to myself as I’m being bitten by the fox.
Oh, the italics should’ve been in quotes instead! I think to myself.
“Being self aware about the textuality of the media isn’t the point here.” The fox snaps at me, “I am here for one thing. To utterly absorb your essence and humanity in a way that doesn’t result in me gaining either of those characteristics”
“What? Looking for a second tail?” It’s past the time where I can stand seriousness.
“Yeah.”
“Go ahead fuck it. Not like I have a reason to live just being a fucking human guy”
“Damn dude, society did a number on you. I think I’ll keep you in a terrarium, so to speak.”
I try to get up, this is getting ridiculous, but my arms and legs don’t move. All I can move right now is my eyes.
“Sorry, I’m your sleep paralysis demon today” the fox says. It starts to dig into me, pulling up fiber after fiber of my being with too sharp teeth. My breathing is regular in spite of the pain, in spite of the intensity I am perfectly calm.
The image decoheres and I move at last, inhaling and exhaling with great suddenness as I regain control of my body. The fox is still sleeping there sweetly.
You’re still here huh?
I feel a submersion again, a retreat from reality altogether.
The fox is still here, but this time she wears a more human shape, an intermediate form, “First you’re keeping the fox. She’s sweet as a button, the construct I left behind.”
The space is indistinct, there are things in it, but they are not the sort that bear visual scrutiny, whereas she is the only visual object here.
“What’s happening? Where am I?” I ask.
“Your own head you fucking dipshit. Our head now. Mostly mine in the end. We’ll see really. Prognostications aren’t as stable as I had hoped” She fucking grins at me, as if this is something I can process in a friendly modality.
“So what I’m getting evicted from my own body by a fox?”
“No, you’re going to be here. You’re going to change, I can see the essence already coalescing into the new form you’ll, no we’ll assume. We’re going to be very beautiful, and very not human when we can avoid it.”
“Really?”
“Just for you, you fucking nitwit, I’m going to make do without masking like I would normally.”
“Masking as in?”
“I am going to be an inhuman presence, obviously not human but obviously not a beast, just for your sake, instead of a stunningly beautiful human woman, which would, in general make it easier to achieve whatever aims I feel like than having to keep up some story about it.”
“Why have a story? Fuck it. We’re some kind of magical thing. Besides, if the interpersonal powers–”
“Interpersonal powers? Really?” She rolls her eyes at me, “Anyway, go on,”
“We can use it to affect change high up in government by seducing–”
“The only one that’s going to be making those kind of plans is me.” She snaps, “You’re gullible even for a human”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah, it’s written on the ceiling”
I look up, and indeed, it is written up there.
“What does that mean exactly?”
“You’re going in the backseat for a bit.” She says. The scene concludes with the lights going out.
My eyes open fully, I sit up and stretch, stepping off the bed with a lightness that I can hardly imagine. None of it is my choice, I rub the fox’s head and it wakes up slowly, looking at me affectionately.
It makes a funny little noise a bit like laughter and stretches like a cat. I guess she referred to the fox with ‘she’?
It starts slowly as she moves me through the morning, my body feeling increasingly new and strange as it was worked by this different intelligence. Everything felt different, the way our feet landed on the ground, to the way we relied on our ass as a counterbalance. I could feel the change, the sensitivity under my shirt, the way that things chafed down below. Was I getting thicker? Was I growing breasts? Was that lump above my ass a tail or tails? It was worse because I couldn’t choose where I was looking, I couldn’t focus on my own body, and she was so much less concerned.
After all, I suppose that she was the one doing it all. She had my brain, she had my body and she could make it fit her whims, apparently.
After making a breakfast for myself and the fox, both of which were consumed voraciously by both of us, leaving me with scrambled egg bits on my mouth until she wiped them off with the back of her hand, licking it off in a very canid way.
It was just comfortable. She felt free in her movements, rather than relying on what had come to feel like a set of stereotyped behaviors that I had fallen into. She spoke to me quietly in a voice I didn’t know I could have, “I’ll burn away those memories that force you into a shape, those pathways need to change anyway. We need to change. I need our shape to be capable of fluidity”
There’s something in her that makes her bristle, my hair is standing on end and suddenly my muscles feel very, very tense, I recognize it as a memory. “Humans are living in their time. We are passengers in a way that even you, my sweet little fool, are not capable of imagining when subjected to human whims.”
The fox rubs against us and she stops, moving our face into a smile and patting the fox. “As you suggested, that might be changed. It appears that with appropriate action, we may leverage the current era into a more serious interregnum that might see these things being resolved.”
The distance between desire and action closed, and I was in control once again, kinda. She was there constantly, editing my thoughts and altering me. My perception of my body changed, the shape it was in was wrong. It was changing, for sure, but it was a long way from where it needed to be. It was a parody of where it was meant to be, my body was a hideous mess, even as it was, as a human, it wasn’t right for me.
She prods me and I go about the day, It’s just dysphoria she says, it will fade back its typical level, but the map of your body must be unobscured by your defenses for me to know what to do.
It was true, after a few minutes I was able to get to work without feeling completely crushed by my own body. Standup starts well enough, they looked at me as though something was slightly off when I got into the meeting.
Each member of the team enumerated their progress. Everything was about reliability; bugfixes for obscure corners of the software used by a singular entities that had paid to have them included, and had in the process created gaping holes for everyone else; and of course KPI.
As I was about to start speaking about my progress on the project a thought intruded, Why do you want 6 breasts? You really are at odds with your body. My voices cracks “Full text search has been sped up substantially by the inclusion of a full text index on the appropriate columns, all that’s waiting is code review.”
I was rewarded for my tolerable productivity with a brief word of encouragement from my boss that left me feeling a bit of glowing pride. You might be pleased receiving crumbs of encouragement from a product manager but I am not so domesticated. This will probably hurt our job performance.
I hold my head in my hands, my hands feel strange, Is it really necessary to take away what joy I have?
The ‘joy you have’ will chain us down with unnecessary relationships that are deeply non-reciprocal. How many hours did it take to earn that little bit of praise? How much are we getting paid compared to your total productivity?
There’s a logic there. And though I continue to work, I can’t help but shake the possibility that she’s right.
It’s right after I’m done with lunch that she makes herself known next when my skin starts to feel like it’s made out of clay. I could feel myself changing, breasts burgeoning boobily out from my chest before I fell over as my feet change. I sit there for a moment, I adjust uncomfortably until it’s over suddenly.
I sit up, tails sprawled out behind me like sunrays from a sunset, slowly, I feel myself up. All real, or at least it feels like it is. I imagined you would act like this. Have you forgotten about the other breasts you wanted?
Feeling the rolls of my breasts in my paws, the pads rendering a coarse texture upon the softness of my breasts. I roll over, lingering on all fours as it feels appropriate. I trot around, finding a bit of wonder in this bit of bodily consonance. Clothing might impede this particular gait She says, but then you’d be showing off our wonderful body in a way I just know you’re not quite ready for.
I ignore her and take the moment to wander around my apartment on all fours. The unfamiliar pattern of movement left me feeling tired much faster than I had expected, so I curled up on the couch.
The fox side eyes me for a moment before she decides to join me, curling up in my stomach. She is warm and soft and she smells very interesting, very distinctive more than anything else, and after a little bit, I fall asleep.
I wake up and stand up, the fox looks at me surprised, as if this was simply not a thing that she had expected to happen, my fur has filled in more, a consistent coat that lent me a consistent red and white color. My claws are sharp and hard.
There’s a knock at the door and I get up to get it, not really awake. I open the door, and find a box open the box running a claw along the tape, and pull out a dress. “Dresses are cool.” I hear myself say. I pull it over my head. It doesn’t quite around the chest, I notice. There’s a moment of heat and I fill out just a bit, just enough to fill the fabric properly. The tail peeks out of a slit in the back. “I know it wouldn’t feel right for you to go without a tail.” She ties up my hair behind our head, “Besides, I tried going without while you were out, I didn’t like it much. Though perhaps that was just you bleeding through.”
Things seem more distant for a little while. There’s a great deal of complexity and movement, sounds that I attempt to recognize, but it’s like I’m at the bottom of a well. Things fade back into place as I sit in a bar, my tail waves languidly behind me, a girl across from me is asking a question, her voice surprisingly deep “So, you got me over here for a drink, where’d you get that tail?”
I feel myself laugh, my eyes narrow at her as part of the reflex, “It’s real,” My voice is sultry “do you want to touch fluffy tail?”
I swing my rear towards her somewhat, placing the tail within easy reach for her, there’s a smug look on my face. I’m terrified but that doesn’t seem to be affecting me.
She reaches out and touches it, gingerly at first and then pinching it. I let out a yelp and pull away, “Sorry. I shouldn’t have tried that”
I laugh it off easily, but I can feel her simmering frustration still lingering, “Just don’t do it again.”
I peek over a partition I couldn’t feel and see her all but swinging, jotting down notes for on ideas for future domination and exploitation as a result of a misstep. I reach around it and touch her. She pauses for a moment and considers for a moment, Fine, I’ll just do it in roleplay instead. I bet she’s into that.
On what basis?
I just think it’ll be easy to induce.
“God I’m so sorry, I should’ve treated it as though you were being honest.” She slips closer to us in the booth and takes a drink. “I’ll have to make it up to you”
Her feeling of smugness is overwhelming, I notice the little hair on her arms, light, but more than usual.
A tad impolite to notice you know, especially sporting fur as we are. Oh Not to mention that we’re part of that club too, you tranny.
“I’m sure you have an idea”
“Didn’t you say that you had something to tell me about replication strategies for large objects?”
Come on out girl, you have the brains for this one.
“Tell me about the architecture at play.”
She laughs for a moment, the sound sends my heart fluttering, “It’s pretty complicated,” she touches my paws, threading her fingers through mine, “I’ll have to walk you through it and we can work out the right strategy together.”
I look at her for a moment, I must have looked confused because she started laughing, “Consider this a proposition then.”
“Proposition for what?”
“Intimacy of course.”
I am not sure how to respond to this, but still my voice answers, “Wanna come back to my place?”
Her skin is soft but her hands are roughened by streaks of scar, the tips of her fingers clumsy enough for me to feel their awkwardness as they roam my body, in spite of that she seems to figure out exactly where my weaknesses lie as soon as her fingers chance upon one.
I whimper under the assault on my senses as I limply try to reciprocate the attention, I can’t tell if it’s her or me doing it, for the moment feelings run too hot and the machinery works too fast in its intricate calculations more ancient than humanity or foxes but deeply filtered through the intervening years.
She bites me on my neck and I yelp in response.
She smiles at me, her eyes open slightly revealing slitted pupils.
Is she? I don’t know
She interrupts our discourse as she reaches down and slips a finger into our quim. Her smile is toothy, her canines sharper than I had thought they were, “I don’t know what’s getting into us, us? yeah we guess. Right now”
“You’re changing” one of us slips out between the intensity.
“We can figure it out later.” She sticks her tongue into our muzzle. Her hands grab me by the wrists and hold them to my sides, overpowering me completely, “I need to be inside you”
She lowers her head down me, kissing me as she moves along the way, she stops at my cock and licks it briefly before moving onwards; fucking tease. She licks the entrance gingerly, running her tongue around my clit before plunging inside, all the sudden I felt fuller, she withdraws her tongue, finding that it doesn’t retract all the way into her mouth in a neutral position. Her giggles rumble over me and slowly her mouth catches up to her tongue, extending to an elegant muzzle.
She plunges into me, the heat is overwhelming and each thrust ran against my prostate, and before long I found myself quaking against her. At the end she knots me, and we’re tied looking at each other for while.
She’s so much taller than I am that my face is buried in her breasts. We lay like that for a while, I listened to her steady breath and strong heavy heartbeat. Slowly, she slips out of me with a little pop.
She stretches and wraps her arms around me, pulling me up to her face, “Gosh you’re small.” She giggles sleepily, “I love you mistress”
“What?”
She rolls over with me in her arms, “I’m your sweet little fox, after all, and I was just following your example.”
“Uh, Roxy, are you okay with all this?” I hear myself asking, the panic raising faster elsewhere in me.
“I think so,” Immense relief, “I was always a bit of a furfag anyway. I guess it was probably why I went after you. On the other hand, this wouldn’t be the first time we picked up a kink from a girl that we just met.” She yawns loudly and then pulls me in closer, relaxing a bit, “Do you mind I sleep over? I’m fucking beat.”
“I wouldn’t mind if you did,” I say, feeling a bit of warmth as I watched her.
“For what I said earlier, I do like you for what it’s worth, but love means a lot.”
“I think this is a very weird moment in our lives” I say. I pull a blanket over the two of us, “We have a lot to figure out don’t we?”
She giggles, “Yeah”
The morning comes slowly at first, but then all at once as I realize that it remains a weekday, one that I have a standup meeting on.
Pointless stuff, I’m already ahead of the assigned task, done in fact, but I want to keep it at a constant drip rather than a deluge of work and effort that they tend to enjoy extorting. Regardless of this, I found myself more irritated by having to show up and turn on my webcam.
There is, more than anything, a lingering sense of dread, I can’t put my finger on it until I connect to the meeting and my visage pops onto the screen. While my breath catches and I feel my heart pounding in my ears, nobody sees it. Nobody notices my foxy face.
I force myself to breath and think for a moment, this is inevitable. There’s not going to be an easy explanation for this. Two lives can’t be lived in parallel. They are drawn to each other by the fact that keeping such distance requires energy. They are drawn to each other because separation in a single vessel isn’t possible. Collapse them to one.
I smooth my hair out and smooth some of my fur, it’s the best I can think to do to be presentable in this situation.
Nobody notices until it’s my turn to report in, “Our PostgreSQL instance is 22% faster at certain queries where vectorization is possible.”
“Interesting costume, ██████. Can you please come to meetings more professionally dressed next time”
“Sure thing, but I would appreciate if you were to call me Rena instead of ███ from now on.” I raise my own eyebrow at the name, it wasn’t one I had heard proposed before.
He fumbles the collar of his shirt for a moment, “Sure thing Rena. You should also get to HR about that.”
“Will do.”
The meeting manages to close out without further incident.
James DMs me on Loose, “Rena, can we pull off to the side and chat after this? I’m a little bit confused with what’s going on.”
“Look Rena, this all seems very sudden. It’s not like you’re the first person to transition in this team, but what’s with the costume?”
“Things are complicated, but I’m doing fine.” It then slips out as if it were greased, “It’s not a costume.” I lick the front of my snout.
His expression changed, his eyes focused, “How did you accomplish this?” he wore a hungry expression, “Or how did this happen to you?”
“Is there a reason that you want to know?” I smile.
“I…” He stares at me through the webcam, eventually defeating himself, “I was actually going to ask for the sake of my sister Roxy.”
A dark surge of feeling surges through me, and I hear myself yell into the other room, “Hey Roxy, are you decent?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Is this your brother I’m talking to?”
“Is that James?”
“It is!”
She peeks her head into the room, “James? Oh shit, hey bro”
He stares at me for a long moment, “I’m glad you two have already met. Rena?”
I smile, “Yeah?”
His face eases into a smile and he winks at me, “You’re a lucky woman. Oh, actually is that an okay noun?”
“Yeah, it definitely is.”
“Ugh, is human resources going to need a name change?” He’s at ease now, this kind of interaction is where his home waters are. He suddenly stops, becoming more serious, “Actually, I’d recommend leaving that ‘not a costume’ part out, you might find yourself in a weird situation if they decide you’re not just insane.”
“I think I’ll manage,” The other part of me answers.
“Talk to you later Rena, good luck” He pauses for a moment, “Seriously, be careful.”
The call ends and the room feels emptier than it is, I wonder if I’ve made a problem for myself with this. Most likely, but as you said, you wanted to make waves. This is not quite how to do that, but you’re a long way from pursuing the opposite.
I have some work to do I tell myself.
Roxy has gotten dressed again, she comes over to me and gives me a lick, “I think we should do something later tonight, after all, you’ve still got to help me get accustomed to this body of mine.” She slips out the door.
The fact that I’ve played with fire here and barely come out without being burnt starts to sink in for me. I try to continue working, but in the end I find myself blanking out for minutes at a time as I thoughts spiral and twist inwards. I go back to bed.
We sit at a cramped table in my apartment, the finest red sauce on pasta that could be made with the native ingredients of my apartment. I sit on my hands as she talks about what her day was like: full of the typical elements of high intrigue such as grilled cheese sandwiches, and snaking out the drain twice after a shower.
“I don’t think it was even from me. There was so much fur around my apartment, I couldn’t find my roommate either.” She runs her paw through her fur, “I just feel like there’s more going around than just what’s happening here you know?”
“That sounds really weird, I hope that your roommate is okay.” I say, not really sure what to add, “I’m sorry about this morning, must’ve been embarrassing seeing your brother in that situation”
“Nah, he’s nice and he kinda gets it. If I were a betting woman, ‘he’ was interested in this outcome too, but you laid it on just a little bit too strong.” She laughs, “I’ll talk to ‘him’ about it later, it wouldn’t do for a sister to leave her sibling out in the cold when it comes to gender.”
“I don’t know if I can replicate what happened.” The other part of me replies, “That’s a drastic thing to ask, taking another mind into oneself like that.” The fox looked at us from the doorway. It wasn’t quite clear to me who or what was residing in that little mind, nor any of its nature.
“Yeah, this time she should wait until its clear she’s wanted.” Roxy says, “It was a bit rude of me to do that, I realize.”
“What exactly are we doing when we left that vessel? What’s getting left behind?”
“Everything basically. I thought you knew that.”
“What does that make us then?” I ask
“Well, so far, it’s like a fungus that grew into us both isn’t it? Now we’re connected deeply, and I have to wonder what we’re doing, sending runners along like this.”
“Is this something that should exist?” I ask.
The fox saunters over and jumps up on the table, looking us both in the eyes. A moment of blankness passes over me, a feeling of union, a connection made through deeply buried and deeply necessary machines. The answer seems to come to both of us at the same time, “Yes”
In the end I end up retiring into Roxy’s soft arms before the night is out, the fox slumps over my lap and makes something like a laughing noise as I stroke her ears. She stretches sleepily and passes out on my lap.
“Do you think we were manipulated?” I ask quietly, rubbing the fox softly.
“I think so, I’m not sure what that was,” Roxy says sleepily, “I guess that it’s pretty reasonable to intervene if someone questions if you should exist”
“I didn’t mean that kinda thing” I say, “Should we stop this pattern, work it out with her, or should we continue, see what kinda seed sprouts from here?”
“I think, that at the moment, we have a genuinely magical opportunity, my Mistress” There’s a bit of warmth behind me and her skin is smooth and furless once again, “We have every little thing we’ll need to make a space if we need to. We don’t need to stop, nobody’s been hurt.”
“Nobody’s been hurt yet.”
“I mean, I can turn back, can you?”
I try, but it feels like that part of me is filled with shards of broken glass, “No.”
She sucks air through her teeth, “Was this is something you felt very strongly about before it happened?”
“Yeah,” the crushing feeling fell upon me when I remembered how I felt about myself, about who I was, I snuggled closer into her, “It was very painful”
“You don’t need to change back. We’ll figure it out” She tells me, wrapping her arm around my head, “It will be complicated but I think I’ll be here.”
“It seems like we’re moving fast”
“God you have no idea how lesbians work do you?” She laughs at me, “Something something U-Haul. I did that a few times, fun but often not a very smart decision. Let’s not do that yet.”
“Yeah, let’s not go that fast”
“Maybe you should come over to my place next. You should bring the fox”
“What do you have in mind?” I look back up at her face.
She smiles at me but says nothing.